Weddings & Handfasting

Handfastings

A "Handfasting" is a Pagan/Wiccan wedding custom. Pagan and Wiccan ceremonies came mostly from the peasant class living in small rural communities when marriages were negotiated contracts with escape clauses for women and a time when paternity was not an issue. The Handfasting was an opportunity to state the terms of the agreement to the community and to solemnize the oaths before the Divine.

Today it is a simple and beautiful custom with profound symbolism and magick. The couple holds hands facing the Priestess or Priest. The other hand is left free. The free hand represents that each person is making their commitments in "free will, " and that all promises, first and foremost, are always rooted in promises made to themselves, and to the Lord and Lady.

The clasped hands represent the couple's private and public vows to each other. Then the Priestess or Priest wraps their personal cord of rank and dedication around the clasped hands of the couple. The wrapping of this braided cord "binds" the couple to keep their vows to each other. By using a cord woven by their own hand and with great intention, the Priestess or Priest is giving the couple and their promises her or his personal blessing, endorsement, and protection. This means that the officiant, is putting their magical reputation forward to boost the magickal reputation of each partner.

In the language of Witchcraft, a vow uses the power of the spoken word. We call it "Word Magic." The use of the cord in a Handfasting ceremony casts a "binding spell." The binding is then sealed by a blessing of the Lord and Lady and the collective energy of the couple, the officiant, and the guests. The result is that each partner is now oath-bound or honor-bound to keep whatever vows he or she has made.

Can I include my children?

Yes. A Priestess's cord is typically 9 feet in finished length. Anyone old enough to understand the meaning and importance of keeping a promise can participate. This means it is a wonderful way of including children in the creation of a new family covenant.

What about solemnizing my alternative lifestyle?

Yes. A Handfasting ceremony is a great option for those who want to solemnize an alternative lifestyle, Poly-amorous couples can form a family covenant with a Handfasting ceremony so long as laws about bigamy are not broken.

We want a trial commitment but aren't ready for "marriage".

Many Pagans and Wiccans seldom pledge "'til death does us part." They will sometimes say: " for as long as love lasts." The words and promises are always their own. So long as it does not involve the state with a marriage license, unions, and partnerships can be negotiated in terms of duration, with renegotiation clauses and agreements that address questions of monogamy/polygamy and other issues that are important to each couple.

Can we do a Handfasting?

Yes. If the agreement expires or the couple chooses to go their separate ways a ceremony can be created for acknowledgment and closure. It is basically the reverse. The ceremony begins with the Priestess binding the couple. Holding hands, each person thanks the other person, acknowledges what they have learned, and appreciates about the other. Then the Priestess or Priest undoes the cord and declares them free and the agreement is nullified.

This allows the community to be updated as to each person's status and "availability," should someone else be interested in pursuing them. These kinds of "civilized divorces," allow the community to support the individuals without feeling caught in the middle.